nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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