At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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