Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
