well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
