I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
