Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
