I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
