UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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