rhymes with "ouble enetration"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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