Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
