Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
