I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
