Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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