Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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