we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
