I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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