There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
