these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
