Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
