i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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