Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize