Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
