last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
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