Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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