can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
