Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
