I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
