Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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