that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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