My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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