Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
