You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
