So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
