Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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