Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
