all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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