do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
