Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
