Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
