Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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