wat bout pragnant strippers??
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
