What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
