How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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