Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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