the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
