Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
