she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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