Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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