i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
