It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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