C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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